Dear Dad
It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I decided to elope with my new girlfriend Anja. We wanted to avoid starting a scene with you and mum.
I’ve found real passion with Anja and she is so lovely – even with her nose piercing, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the joy Dad, she’s pregnant and Anja said that we are going to be very happy.
Even though you won’t care for her as she is so much older than me, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.
Anja taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone, and we’ll be growing it and trade it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for HIV so that Anja can get better. She really deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your ever loving son,
/ Lucas
PS: Don’t worry Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the next door’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school report which is in the centre drawer of my desk. I love you!
This story was orginally published in a magazine and has made rounds on the internet for a while, not sure if it’s a true story but we just find it so funny we had to share it!
Do you think this was a clever move to avoid getting in big trouble? Did it make you laugh as much as we did? Then by all means, please share this with your friends!