Offering your heart to someone is a difficult thing to do. It’s scary, really, when you realize you’re genuinely falling for someone …
First and foremost there’s the broiling emotions that threaten to take control. There’s a reason people do silly things when they’re in love, and it’s very rarely because they’re making calm and calculated decisions.
Then, of course, there’s the anxiousness that manifests itself in questions. Does that person like you as much as you like them? Will that person leave unless you’re doing things to keep them happy? Looking at things from the outside in, it seems rather absurd that you’d change how you are/what you look like just for another person, and yet people do it day after day.
For one girl, bending over backwards for her boyfriend had become a routine ritual, despite the fact he was never satisfied. It wasn’t until they were broken up that she decided to write an open letter explaining the changes she’d gone through, and precisely what those changes had taught her. We think it’s something all should read …
The open letter
“You always told me I didn’t look good with long hair and that you preferred girls with short hair. So I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times.
You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together. So a week later I dyed it back blonde.
You would always point out if I was wearing too much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time).
So I just stopped wearing it.
You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly and would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it.
So I took out my piercings and didn’t get any more tattoos.
You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got. So I did my best to keep them hidden.
You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.
I did everything I could to be what you wanted. I did everything you told me to do. It still wasn’t good enough. You left me for a younger prettier girl. Someone you could mold and shape into what you wanted. Like you tried to do with me. And up until a few months ago, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You blamed me too.
But finally, I started to see the truth. You weren’t out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You were the one who wasn’t good enough for me. You couldn’t accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were.
So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I’ve got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks.
And I’ve finally gotten my confidence back. I finally see myself looking back at me when I look in the mirror.
It’s so hard for me to come out about this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I always said would never happen. It’s humiliating to even think about how low I got. But what gives me the guts to come out about this is the fact that I overcame it and I’m finally back to who I really am. – Feeling free.”
Always remember that you’re entirely perfect exactly the way you are. You don’t need to change for anyone, and you certainly don’t need to feel down and out as a result of someone else’s judgement.
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