It was Courtney’s third pregnancy. Despite having given birth twice before, she had a tough journey ahead of her. And it didn’t get easier when she found out that her baby, Emersyn, would be born with Down syndrome. It was a new reality that Courtney wanted to manage in the best way possible—with the help of her doctor. But instead of giving Courtney support and advice on how to have the best pregnancy and birth possible, the doctor gave Courtney something quite different. He told her to think about whether she really wanted to keep her baby. And even after Courtney completely dismissed his advice, the doctor continued to remind her that she had the option of getting an abortion. Back when Courtney was still pregnant, she had so much she wanted to say to her doctor, but she never dared. But a little more than a year after giving birth, she gathered her courage and wrote him a letter. Now Courtney has shared that letter on Facebook and it hits right to the heart.
A friend recently told me of when her prenatal specialist would see her child during her sonograms, he would comment, “He’s perfect.” Once her son was born with Down syndrome, she visited that same doctor. He looked at her little boy and said, “I told you. He’s perfect.”
Her story tore me apart. While I was so grateful for my friend’s experience, it filled me with such sorrow because of what I should have had. I wish you would have been that doctor.
I came to you during the most difficult time in my life. I was terrified, anxious and in complete despair. I didn’t know the truth yet about my baby, and that’s what I desperately needed from you. But instead of support and encouragement, you suggested we terminate our child. I told you her name, and you asked us again if we understood how low our quality of life would be with a child with Down syndrome. You suggested we reconsider our decision to continue the pregnancy.
From that first visit, we dreaded our appointments. The most difficult time in my life was made nearly unbearable because you never told me the truth.
My child was perfect.”
“I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m really just sad. I’m sad the tiny beating hearts you see every day don’t fill you with a perpetual awe. I’m sad the intricate details and the miracle of those sweet little fingers and toes, lungs and eyes and ears don’t always give you pause. I’m sad you were so very wrong to say a baby with Down syndrome would decrease our quality of life. And I’m heartbroken you might have said that to a mommy even today. But I’m mostly sad you’ll never have the privilege of knowing my daughter, Emersyn.
Because, you see, Emersyn has not only added to our quality of life, she’s touched the hearts of thousands. She’s given us a purpose and a joy that is impossible to express. She’s given us bigger smiles, more laughter and sweeter kisses than we’ve ever known. She’s opened our eyes to true beauty and pure love.
So my prayer is that no other mommy will have to go through what I did. My prayer is that you, too, will now see true beauty and pure love with every sonogram. And my prayer is when you see that next baby with Down syndrome lovingly tucked in her mother’s womb, you will look at that mommy and see me then tell her the truth: ‘Your child is absolutely perfect.’”
Share if you also agree that this doctor should have supported Courtney and her perfect daughter!
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