Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well, can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they’re both home… but I don’t think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a break up with his boyfriend.
Antonio. Her: Oh, so your fathers’ names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers’ names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who’s Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos’s ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that’s only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn’t cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn’t.
Her: Yes! You! Did!
Me: Did what?
Her: You… Never mind. Have a nice day. Goodbye.
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