Woman: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license, please?
Woman: I’d give it to you, but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it four times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see… Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please?
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem, sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes. Here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver’s license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you, ma’am. One of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!
Isn’t that clever? I’m not saying I’m going to use it next time I get pulled over for speeding, because I believe in driving safely and respecting the police. But I can just imagine the look on these officer’s face when the woman in this story delivers the punchline. So funny!
Share if this story also gave you a good laugh!
Published by Newsner, please like