Let’s be honest — no matter how equal we try to make our relationships, when it comes to parenting, many women seem to continue to bear a certain higher degree of responsibility.
This is especially true for families with small children. It’s women who naturally bear the task of breastfeeding and it’s therefore often mom who’s awake all night for feedings.
That’s the reality mother and blogger Caroline Olling Andersen decided to express in a hilarious poem one night.
Waking up to a baby’s cries in the middle of the night is, well, not the most enjoyable experience. It perhaps make things even worse when a mom looks over at her partner — just to see him sleeping and snoring away without a care in the world.
Caroline Olling Andersen lives in Dubai with her husband and their baby girl. One night, she decided to approach the issue in a rather unconventional — and certainly hilarious way.
Right there in the middle of the night, she penned a very special poem for her daughter called “Daddy’s Asleep.”
Here is her hysterical poem her daughter will no doubt cherish for years to come.
“Daddy’s Asleep”
I love your daddy, I really do,
After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.
But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I.
And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:
Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,
Because no matter what, your dad is f***ing asleep!
It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight.
We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.
An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.
You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.
You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there
with a bottle or breast
Daddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.
Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.
You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.
As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.
Your daddy farts, rolls over and continues to snore.
Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!
You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!
“I think she is hungry” your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,
Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.
Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?
Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*** about me!
Mommy kicks him and pushes him angrily away.
“What’s up love?” He moans in a lovingly way.
Your daddy has no clue he is under attack.
He wraps his arms around me and kisses my back.
And just as my love for daddy is back on the rise,
You start to coo in your crib and open your eyes.
And daddy gently nudges me to attend to your need.
I give him the finger as I prepare for a feed.
But as the sun starts rising, the slate is wiped clear.
I’m back to full love for your daddy and for you my dear.
I forget that daddy sleeps while you cry and you poo.
It’s back to kissing and hugging and doting on you.
Soon you’ll grow up and be daddy’s little girl.
You’ll not remember me cleaning up shit and vomit hurl.
Whilst you sit on his lap and he sings you a song,
You’ll love him and think daddy could do nothing wrong.
But my sweet love, here is a poem for you to keep,
So you know that all those long nights, dad was f***ing asleep!
This hilarious poem has really taken off on social media, with over 16k shares on Facebook — and I understand why. I can’t decide on my favorite line, I have so many! What’s yours?
Share Caroline’s her poem if you can relate, or know other moms that can.
