I’ve heard a lot of these stories, but this one really had me chuckling to myself. It begins when an ordinary shopper heads to an electronic shop one day to do some ordinary shopping. Soon enough everything turns rather out-of-the-ordinary. Another customer mistakes her for a store employee and rudely demands some help. When the shopper responds that she doesn’t work there, the other customer refuses to believe her. From here, it just gets more and more funny. I can’t say for sure if this happened in real life or not, but many aspects of it certainly sound very realistic to me. I won’t spoil the end, so read on for this funny story.
(I’m shopping at a large electronics store. I’m dressed casually in a blue graphic tee which, if you aren’t paying attention, for a second might look like what the employees wear.)
Other Customer: “I need you to find this for me.”
(I don’t respond as I am not aware that she is talking to me. I am reading the specs on the back of a box. The other customer then shoves an opened item in my hands on top of the box I am holding.)
Me: “What the h***?!”
Other Customer: “HELLO?! FIND this for me.”
Me: *hands it back to her* “I don’t work here. Work on your manners, lady.”
Other Customer: *she just stares at me for a minute* “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”
(I just shake my head and start walking away. She is really getting on my nerves.)
Other Customer: *following me* “STOP RIGHT THERE! You are NOT allowed to talk to paying customers that way!”
Me: “I’M a paying customer. I don’t work here! Go away!”
Other Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You need to be fired for your attitude.”
Me: “They can’t fire me if I don’t work here. Stop following me!”
(At this point, other people are staring, laughing at the lady, and sharing sympathetic looks with me.)
Other Customer: “Oh, we’ll see about that!”
(A manager steps in as this lady has made a scene in the store and a lot of people have taken notice.)
Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”
Other Customer: “This b**** is giving me the worst attitude! I have never been treated so badly in all my life!”
Me: “And this psycho keeps following me around thinking I work here! I keep telling her I don’t work here!”
Other Customer: “You won’t be working here if you keep up your b****y attitude!”
(The manager is clearly very uncomfortable.)
Manager: “Uh, ma’am, she doesn’t actually work here.”
Other Customer: “You need to handle this! Fire this b**** immediately!”
(The manager looks around at the customers and employees who have gathered at a safe distance and are snickering at the scene. He looks at me and shrugs.)
Manager: *to me* “Uh… You’re fired, ma’am?”
Me: *dramatically and smiling* “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN HIRED ME!”
Manager: *smiling* “I’d like to offer you a job as an associate. Awesome pay and benefits?”
Me: “I’ll TAKE it!”
Manager: “You’re fired.”
Me: “NOOOOOOO! How could you?!”
(The crowd starts laughing.)
Other Customer: “Are you MOCKING me?!”
Me: “He’s just giving you what you demanded. Now quit bothering me.”
(She turned bright red and stormed out of the store without another word.) Em>
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