After sleeping with over 1,000 women, a British content creator is revealing the shocking reality behind his wild party lifestyle and warning others of the “dark hole” that kept him trapped for years.
For nearly a decade, Benny James lived a life many would envy – or so it seemed. He’d hit the clubs four nights a week, DM women on social media, and after a night of partying, he would frequently wake up in bed next to a stranger.
At his peak, the 31-year-old said the attention, the fast money, along with the wild nightlife – that included sleeping with over 1,000 women – gave him a “buzz.”
He had, after all, convinced himself that he was “just living life” and that the thrill that came with the exploitative lifestyle was “just a bit of fun.”
But looking back, he realized the real reason behind his endless string of hookups was to boost his self esteem, and that he “didn’t really like being on [his] own.”
‘Dark hole’
Behind the club lights and endless hookups, James said he was spiraling into a “dark hole” of addiction, depression, and isolation.
“With me, my friends and family saw me as ‘Jack the lad’ – going out, having fun. But deep down, it was affecting me without me knowing, until I hit rock bottom. It’ll just build and build and build up. And then when you want to sit back and have a normal life, it’s hard to do that,” he said, according to the Mirror.
“I had anxiety and depression from it.”
Emotionally bankrupt
Now, the Croydon-born content creator is sounding the alarm on the mental health crisis masked by hookup culture – and the cost of chasing validation in all the wrong places.
“People who have done the industry stuff, they can just spiral out of control. They don’t have no one around, and they can’t trust no one. I suffered bad anxiety, depression, and didn’t want to leave the house. So I turned to alcohol, drugs, splashing money, gambling, a lot, everything,” James said.
The constant need for attention, he explained, left him emotionally bankrupt when it was gone. Trying to shift from party boy to family man felt almost impossible.
“It’ll just build and build and build up. And then when you want to sit back and have a normal life, it’s hard to do that,” the playboy said, adding that the culture is driven by “money, money, money.”
Mental health campaign
Now on a mission to help others, James has turned his pain into purpose – launching the No More Waiting campaign, calling for urgent government funding for mental health support and treatment.
He warns that the party lifestyle can take a serious toll, especially when it’s time to walk away: “I’m not one of them stereotypical Andrew Tate kind of guys, so for me, if you wanna have fun, have fun,” said the man.
He also points out the double standard: women are judged harshly for promiscuity, while men are often celebrated – until they break under the pressure.
“As a guy, it’s brushed under the carpet a little bit. But for women, they’re looked upon differently. When you’re so used to having that attention and think of trying for a family life, it’s completely different. And I think a lot of people can’t handle that.”
Today, James has experienced a full transformation. He’s sober and he “finally settled down” with a partner.
“Now I’ve kind of just found myself in a good place, and where I promote stuff for mental health and things now I get a lot of love back from it,” he said, adding that with his new partner, he “found himself again.”
James’ story is a stark reminder that behind every flashy Instagram reel or viral hookup story, there can be a very real struggle – one that too often goes unseen.
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