After his 3-year-old son was found “motionless” in the family’s backyard pool, a grieving New Jersey father shared two words that captured the weight of his loss: “I failed.”
On June 27, Michael Stephen and his wife, Sandra Shevlin, were inside their Blackwood, New Jersey, home when an ordinary afternoon suddenly turned into every parent’s worst nightmare.
In a Facebook post shared two days later, Michael explained that he and his wife were in the kitchen when 3-year-old Ella, Elijah’s twin sister, was standing in the kitchen, soaked.
“Our lives changed forever. We see Ella, standing in my kitchen wet in a pull up, I ask her why she is wet. She’s says, ‘pool.’ I see the back door has been opened and my heart sinks,” the Camden County Police lieutenant wrote.
Realizing that Elijah was missing, the couple rushed outside.
“Sandi and I sprint out back and saw the worst thing any parent could ever see. Our Elijah, face down in the water, motionless,” Michael said, adding that he immediately started CPR while his wife called 911.
“His lips were blue. He had no pulse…I started compressions. Water started coming out.”
Emergency crews arrived within “two minutes,” and once he was at the hospital, doctors were able to restore the toddler’s heartbeat.
“Unfortunately, the swelling of the brain is too much too soon and nothing more can be done. Within the next few days, we are going to lose our sweet boy. Even if he were to somehow miraculous survive, he would have no quality of life,” the devoted dad shared as he watched his child dying.
“The images will forever be burned into my mind. I wasn’t fast enough. I failed. And I will spend every day of my life replaying that,” he wrote of the crushing guilt.
‘Too good for this Earth’
The father of three admitted he will always wonder who Elijah might have become.
“I’ll spend the rest of my days wondering what could have been. What he would have done. How Elijah could have changed the world.”
Calling his son a “laid back guy who loves nothing more than to snuggle up,” Michael remembered the little boy’s love of cuddling up to watch a movie before bedtime, which came “at 7.30 sharp.”
Elijah’s mother also paid tribute to her son in a heartbreaking Facebook post.
“I’m so sorry I failed you and couldn’t protect you… I’m forever broken.”
She described Elijah as her “sweet and beautiful, handsome” little boy and wrote that he was “too good for this Earth.”
‘It’s all because of you Eli’
Even in the middle of their grief, Michael said the family made a decision they hope will spare others from experiencing the same heartbreak.
“If we have the ability to prevent another parent from knowing this feeling, I’ll do what I can,” he wrote while explaining that Elijah’s organs were prepped for donation.
“This time will never leave my mind. It will echo on in my head until the day the Lord calls me home. These past days have a been a blur,” he shared in another social media post July 3.
“And even though my baby boy is officially gone. He still hangs on. Because somewhere in the country, a phone is about to ring. On one end of the phone is a doctor. And on the other end is a parent who’s going to hear that an organ is waiting to save their child.”
The veteran said knowing other fathers may never experience the same pain has given him a measure of peace.
“And knowing that a few other dads out there never have to feel the pain I feel can bring me some closure. I hope those kids grow up to change the world. Maybe one will cure cancer. Maybe one will help people with Autism. Maybe one becomes the first person on Mars. Maybe not, but at least they’ll have a chance. And it’s all because of you Eli.”
Before ending his message, Michael urged other parents not to take a single moment for granted.
“Don’t ever take it for granted. Hug your babies. Hug them longer, hug them tighter.”
“You never know when it will be the last.”
Requests support
As the family mourns the unimaginable loss of Elijah, loved ones are also rallying around them. His aunt, Brittnie Hutchinson, has launched a GoFundMe campaign to help Michael, Sandra and their children as they “navigate this unimaginable circumstance.”
“Any support is deeply appreciated while Mike, Sandi, Mickey, and Ella attempt to. Thank you for standing with us during this heartbreaking time,” Brittnie wrote
The fundraiser notes that the couple’s oldest son, 6-year-old Mickey, has significant needs related to autism, and as of July 3, it had raised nearly $60,300 toward its $65,000 goal.
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