The mother of a British teenager who was murdered after being groomed online is calling for a different approach to protecting children on the internet, arguing that an outright social media ban is not the answer.
Lorin LaFave lost her son, Breck Bednar, in February 2014, when he was killed by Lewis Daynes, an 18-year-old he had met through online gaming. More than a decade later, she hopes his story will help families recognize the warning signs of online grooming.
Speaking to LADbible ahead of a new documentary about Breck’s murder, LaFave said she wants to see a broader shift in how society approaches children’s use of technology.
The documentary, From Minecraft to Murder: The Killing of Breck Bednar, aired on Prime Tuesday, October 20.
LaFave has said she repeatedly sought help from authorities because she feared her son was being targeted by an online predator. However, she felt her concerns were met with “brick walls.”
From Minecraft to Murder: The Killing of Breck Bednar
At the time, she believes there was little public understanding of the dangers of online grooming, particularly when the victims were boys.
Breck was a member of the 135 Squadron Air Training Corps in Surrey, England. But after he began communicating with Daynes, whom he played violent online games with, his behavior toward his family began to change.
He started refusing to attend church, said he did not need to go to school and became increasingly hostile toward those closest to him.
Daynes, a computer engineer whose neighbors described him as “reclusive,” groomed the teenager over a period of 13 months. During that time, he bought Breck secret phones and promised him “great wealth.”
Eventually, Breck was persuaded to visit Daynes’ apartment in Essex. He had lied about where he was going before making the trip.
Once there, he was stabbed in the neck by Daynes, who then used duct tape to bind his wrists and ankles.
The following morning, Daynes contacted police and claimed Breck had attempted to take his own life. He also said the fatal stabbing had happened accidentally while he was trying to save the teenager.
Investigators quickly disproved his account. In 2015, Daynes was sentenced to life in prison for Breck’s murder, with a minimum term of 25 years.
Why LaFave wants children to hear these stories
Following her son’s death, LaFave established the Breck Foundation.
“Over the years, there has been too many people to count,” she told LADbible. “Parents, even professionals and police have all worked with us. So many people have said that by using Breck’s story and other real-life stories it makes it more real and engaging and believable. “Maybe if only Breck and his friends had heard a story… because he was one of the early atrocities.”
According to LaFave, discussions about online abuse were difficult to get off the ground in the aftermath of Breck’s death. Some people worried that talking openly about such cases would frighten children.
“Nobody wanted to talk about it. At the time, they said their children would be scared. But I’d rather my child have nightmares because they’re thinking about the dangers of what could happen than be sheltered from it, make a mistake and die.
“It has been really difficult at times, because we wanted to pass this message to younger and younger children.”
Her message remains focused on helping children.
The debate over banning social media for children
LaFave’s comments come as the UK government moves toward tighter restrictions on children’s access to social media.
However, LaFave has long opposed a ban, questioning whether it would really help the underlying problems. Instead, she wants greater attention paid to how children can be taught to navigate the online world safely.
“It’s never going to be 100 percent safe, but what I guess I’m hoping for is a change of culture, and so that we actually look at what children’s needs are,” she said.
“I want people to learn from Breck’s story, because it’s every parent’s worst nightmare.”
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