Jono Lancaster was abandoned by his biological parents just 36 hours after he was born because of his appearance. Now, the 40-year-old has opened up about a deeply personal side of his life, discussing his sex life, relationships, and the painful struggle to believe anyone could ever find him physically attractive.
Jono was born with Treacher Collins syndrome, a rare genetic condition that affects the development of facial bones and tissues. He has no external ears and lives with significant hearing loss.
His biological parents struggled to accept his appearance and left him in the hospital when he was just 36 hours old. But his story took a different turn when Jean Lancaster came into his life.
Just two weeks after his birth, Jean decided to foster Jono and welcomed him into her home without hesitation. She had previously helped children with disabilities and eventually adopted Jono when he was five.
“She always told me that she couldn’t help but smile when she first saw me and she felt an instant connection when she held me,” Jono Lancaster told The Daily Mail.
“I have always known I was adopted and we always have a party every year on May 18 to celebrate that day. I would tell my friends ‘My parents chose me. Your mum and dad got stuck with you, but mine chose me.'”
Jean gave him the love and stability he needed. However, growing up was far from easy. At school, Jono faced bullying, cruel comments, and constant stares because of his appearance. Eventually, he began avoiding mirrors and shop windows because he struggled to look at himself.
Jono Lancaster shares details on life with rare genetic condition
His confidence around girls was also badly affected. As a teenager, he recalled girls flirting with him as part of dares, while their friends watched and laughed.
The experiences left him convinced that nobody would ever genuinely find him attractive. In an appearance on LADbible Stories’ ‘Honesty Box‘, Jono answered 21 questions from viewers, including one about his sex life, reading “How have you found navigating your sex life?”
Rather than shying away from the subject, he spoke openly about intimacy, dating and how his condition affected his confidence.
Lancaster revealed that his longest relationship lasted 10 years and that he had been in several relationships over the past 18 years. However, getting comfortable with intimacy had not always been easy.
“It was definitely hard at first. There was a lot of trauma at the beginning,” he explained.
For years, Jono struggled to believe anyone could find him physically attractive. He recalled thinking that nobody would ever want him and questioned whether someone could find him “sexually attractive”.
Intimate questim about sex life
On LADbible Stories’ Honesty Box, Jono described an internal voice that followed him through life, starting in his teens and continuing into his twenties. The voice told him nobody would ever want him, not only emotionally, but also physically.
“Nobody’s gonna find me attractive. That somebody would find me sexually attractive… I would be like, ‘Oh, I’m so unlovable,’ and it didn’t happen for me,” Jono recalled the voice telling him.
However, after years of struggling, today, Jono has reached a very different place in life. He has previously spoken about the moment he finally looked at his reflection and felt happy with what he saw.
“For the first time in I can’t remember how many years, I absolutely loved what I saw,” he said.
His journey has been far from easy, but Jono’s story shows how much can change when someone finally learns to see themselves as worthy of love.
Those fears shaped how he approached relationships. Lancaster also admitted that he often struggled with boundaries and became a people pleaser because he wanted so badly to be accepted.
He also became increasingly focused on his appearance, turning to dieting, the gym, tanning, and exercise in the hope that his body might make up for the features he felt insecure about.
But his outlook has changed considerably, and he explained he has had “so many beautiful relationships.”
Despite finally finding love and acceptance, there was still one question Jono wanted answered. Would the two people who had abandoned him as a newborn finally be willing to meet their son?
Tried to re-connect with his biological parents
Despite receiving so much love from Jean, Jono wanted answers from his biological parents. As an adult, he decided to contact them. He was in a good place, with a relationship, a job, and friends, and wanted them to know how his life had turned out.
He sent a letter through an adoption agency, explaining that he was happy and would be open to meeting them. But the response was heartbreaking.
Just two weeks later, he received a letter saying they didn’t want any contact with him and would ignore further attempts. Both biological parents had signed it.
Although the rejection hurt, Jono has said he was proud that he had tried. Today, Jono uses his experiences to help others feel more confident about their appearances.
Lancaster founded the Love Me Love My Face Foundation in 2019 to support people with Treacher Collins syndrome and other craniofacial conditions. He has also appeared in Channel 4’s Love My Face and written the book Not All Heroes Wear Capes.
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