A mother is speaking out after getting strong reactions online for breastfeeding her 4-year-old daughter, which some called “inappropriate.” However, she says there is nothing wrong with what she is doing.
34-year-old Shinnai Visser, a mother of two from Cape Town, South Africa, has long shared her life as a mom on social media. She talks openly about her parenting style, which includes homeschooling, home birth, and letting her children grow at their own pace.
However, those things have not drawn especially loud criticism. Instead, it’s because she is breastfeeding her 4-year-old daughter-
Many users have commented on Shinnai Visser’s clips, with surprise and even anger. Some argue the child is too old to be breastfed, while others call the situation inappropriate. Shinnai states that people are judging her without knowing the full story.
According to her, breastfeeding her 4-year-old is not common. She told People Magazine that it is no longer about food, but about comfort and connection.
“When I learned that humans historically breastfed far longer than we do today, it reframed the idea that extended breastfeeding is unusual. It’s not biologically strange — it’s culturally unfamiliar,” Shinnai Visser said.
Mom who breastfeeds 4-year-old daughter speaks out
The mother continued by explaining that in many parts of the world, children breastfeed longer than people in Western countries are used to. Because of that, it may feel unusual to some, even if it is normal in other cultures.
She claimed that her younger child, who is still a toddler, breastfeeds more often, which she feels is natural for that age. For her 4-year-old child, nursing mostly occurs when the child needs comfort, feels tired, or is going through a difficult moment.
“Some days she nurses once, and other times she doesn’t ask for a few days,” Visser explained, adding that at this stage, “it’s very minimal and very intentional. It’s brief, calm and led by her.”
Even though the criticism has been strong, Shinnai Visser says she is not ashamed.
She hopes that by talking openly, other parents will feel less judged for making different choices.
In the end, she says parenting is not the same for everyone — and what matters most is that children feel safe, loved, and cared for.
Strong balance between attachment and independence
When it comes to the benefits of extended breastfeeding, Visser told People Magazine she has seen “greater emotional regulation and a deep sense of security” in her 4-year-old. Moreover, she states that she sees a strong balance between attachment and independence.
“Independence grows best from secure attachment, not forced separation,” Visser said. “Breastfeeding doesn’t replace independence,” she says. “It supports it by ensuring emotional needs are met, not suppressed.”
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