When Tanya and Ashley Marum tied the knot in 2019, they had no idea their adventurous night out would spark a lifestyle — and a business — they’d never look back from.
A friend casually asked if they wanted a threesome. Tanya said no. But that conversation “sparked a discussion and it spiraled from there,” she recalls.
Quickly fell in love with it
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Tanya, from Leeds, U.K., told Kennedy News about what originally drew her to the lifestyle.
“The original attraction was to explore being bisexual and look for women originally. Ash said, ‘if it’s something you want to explore we can explore together and see.’”
After experimenting with women, the couple moved on to “playing with couples because it’s a predominantly couple-based scene.” And the Marums quickly fell in love with the open-sex community.
“We can talk to each other so freely and we’re so open about our own bodies as well. It’s just improved everything,” Tanya told Kennedy News.
Newfound passion
They also discovered an unexpected bonus: their trust in each other skyrocketed.
Ashley added: “Our trust has increased by swinging. Every couple we know that does it feels exactly the same. There’s 100 percent trust and you understand what each other likes more than anything, and you want each other to be as happy as possible. You don’t get that very often in a normal relationship. I’m honest and open with everything so if something’s not right I say it straight away. Tanya is exactly the same, so because we’re honest with each other all the time it’s made it so much easier.”
With their newfound passion, the pair launched their own events company, hosting bi-monthly swinger nights for like-minded adults.
“When we found it hard to consistently meet people that are our age or that we like we messaged people on a website and we said ‘why don’t we all meet in town for a drink,’” Ashley explained.
“We liked it so much that we said ‘let’s do it again next month.’ Now we have events with 300 plus people going, and we make people apply on the website so we know what they look like.”
A controversial twist
But there’s a controversial twist. The Marums have a strict rule: they won’t allow anyone they deem “unattractive.”
Ashley says, “I don’t want people there who the majority would think are unattractive. We want to try to get people to come that they might not be your type but they’re nice looking and take care of themselves.”
Despite the unusual standard, the couple insists swinging is about connection and communication, not just physical attraction.
Tanya notes, “If you have cracks in your relationship and you think it’s a way to spice things up, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. It needs to be an addition to your relationship and not to fix something, so just make sure you’re in a good place to begin with.”
Ashley adds some behind-the-scenes realism:
“It’s the most expensive hobby ever, but we get free tickets to everywhere anytime we want. It’s made it a lot cheaper to go out.” And beyond the sex and the socializing, swinging has brought them closer together. “I’m honest and open with everything so if something’s not right I say it straight away,” Ashley repeats. “Tanya is exactly the same, so because we’re honest with each other all the time it’s made it so much easier.”
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