Despite being “hung like Mickey Mouse,” Ant Smith isn’t hiding, apologizing, or shrinking into shame. Instead, he’s proudly packing his “little one-inch wonder” and challenging outdated stereotypes that suggest a man’s penis defines his masculinity.
In 2015, after a lifetime of ridicule and low self-esteem, Ant Smith broke his silence with “Shorty,” a bold and funny poem that went viral for its unflinching honesty.
“My little one-inch wonder/Up to four times it can grow…I’m hung like Mickey Mouse / I’m glad now to admit. For the greater pain exists / In propagating myths,” the 58-year-old writes in the rhyme that says masculinity is not measured in inches. “According to the Internet / Real men have massive d***s / And you are next to useless / If you’re ‘only’ average.”
Size shaming
Smith, who authored “The Small Penis Bible,” admitted that his penis measures 4 inches erect and between 1 to 2 inches when flaccid – smaller than the global average of 3.42 inches flaccid or 5.48 when erect, according to a 2023 Men’s Health study.
The UK-based computer programmer does not fall within the defined range of a micropenis, under 2.8 inches erect.
But growing up, he was constantly mocked and haunted by a casual comment from a friend during a play fight: “There’s not much there, is there?”
“I was teased at school and it made me so self-conscious I didn’t have sex until I was 21. I would get embarrassed if the condom slipped off as my penis was too small to keep it on,” he said on ITV’s This Morning, adding that he dodged changerooms and dreaded intimacy. “When I grew up it was the perceived wisdom that six or seven inches is normal. You get anxiety when you stick seven in your mind.”
The penis paradox
When it comes to penis size, many men are on a silent (and sometimes not-so-silent) quest for more. It’s as if manhood comes with a built-in measuring tape and bragging rights are handed out by the inch.
But research reveals that the obsession isn’t about sex or about satisfying women – it’s ego dressed up in boxers.
A study published in the National Library of Medicine reports that 85% of women were satisfied with the size of their partner’s penis, while a staggering 45% of men reported feeling like they didn’t measure up.
“It, therefore, appears that men tend to underestimate their dimensions and that they are more interested in their size than women.”
The study also suggests that “patients with impression of small penis may feel anxious, less capable of maintaining erections, resulting in an impact on sexual frequency and ejaculations.”
‘Self-revulsion’
Speaking of his relationship with his wife, Christine, Smith explains that his “own self-revulsion was creating a divide.”
“I was asking myself, ‘How can this woman really love me?’ If you’re asking yourself those questions in a loving relationship, that’s not healthy,” he told BBC.
After years of self-loathing, Smith finally opened up to his wife of almost 30 years, sharing with her his insecurities.
“Somehow the size of your penis has become linked to how much of a ‘man’ you are, which is nonsense,” he said on ITV’s This Morning. “My wife assured me my size made no difference.”
Her support – and that of his close friends – helped the man embrace vulnerability.
“They’ve been really, really supportive – as the decent people in your life tend to be if you talk to them about your vulnerabilities. And, of course, you’ll discover there are other people you’re very close with who have exactly the same vulnerabilities, that you never knew about,” he shared in the interview with BBC.
Living with ‘little willy’
And then he went public with his viral poem “Shorty,” a confession that captured the interest of men across the world.
“I’ve received emails from folk telling me I’ve helped to lift them from a bout of depression,” Smith told BBC of the poem he wrote one year before “The Small Penis Bible,” a coping manual for men living with a “little willy” in a “society obsessed with big penises.”
“I wanted there to be something positive that comes up in search results when people look for help on these issues,” Smith said about men constantly comparing themselves to superhuman appendages on the internet.
“I spent years and years thinking I was the only one with this problem,” he said on This Morning. “By keeping quiet, I wasn’t letting anyone else with the same problem realize you are never really alone.”
Smith is a powerful reminder that being a man isn’t about inches – it’s about confidence, character, and owning your story, no matter the size.
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