For decades, many people — especially men — have believed that the secret to a great sex life is being young, tireless, and endlessly virile.
But according to researchers, that idea may be far from the truth.
A growing body of research is now turning long-held assumptions about age and desire on their head. And the results may come as a pleasant surprise for many.
A large new study from the University of Tartu in Estonia suggests that sexual desire doesn’t necessarily fade with age the way many people assume.
In fact, when it comes to men, it may peak much later than expected.
Researchers analyzed data from more than 67,000 adults between the ages of 20 and 84, examining patterns of sexual desire across age groups, genders, education levels, professions, and relationship status.
What they found challenges the long-standing belief that male testosterone, and sexual desire, drops sharply after a man’s early 30s.
Instead, the study revealed that male libido actually peaks around age 40, not during youth. Even more surprising: men in their 60s reported levels of sexual desire comparable to men in their 20s.
Overall, male sexual desire rose steadily from early adulthood, reached its highest point in the early 40s, and then declined gradually, not abruptly, with age.
Women, however, showed a very different pattern.
According to the study, female sexual desire tended to peak earlier, during the 20s through early 30s, and gradually declined over time, with a more pronounced drop after age 50.
Still, researchers emphasized that biology alone doesn’t tell the whole story.
“The mid-life peak in men suggests that factors beyond biological ageing, such as relational dynamics, may play a more significant role than initially anticipated,” the researchers wrote in the journal Scientific Reports.
They added:
“For example, men in their forties are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”
Another striking takeaway from the study was the overall gap between men and women when it comes to reported desire.
“A particularly notable finding is just how substantially higher men’s sexual desire was compared to women’s throughout most of the adult life span.”
That said, averages don’t tell individual stories — and the researchers stressed that many women reported desire levels higher than the men in their lives, reinforcing that libido is deeply personal and varies widely.
Unexpected social factors
The study also uncovered some unexpected social factors.
People who identified as bisexual reported the highest levels of sexual desire overall. Those with undergraduate degrees showed higher desire than both those with less education and postgraduates, who reported the lowest.
Certain professions, including military roles, machine operators, drivers, and senior managers, were associated with higher reported desire, while office workers and customer service employees tended to report lower levels.
Relationship satisfaction also played a role, though perhaps less dramatically than expected. Being happy and satisfied in a relationship led to only a modest increase in desire. Parenthood affected men and women differently: women often saw a decrease in desire after having children, while fathers typically experienced an increase.
The findings come as experts continue to push back against myths surrounding sex and aging, especially the idea that intimacy naturally disappears in long-term relationships.
Previously, one expert shed light on why some men stop having sex over time.
Dr. Snyder, writing in his book Love Worth Making: How To Have Ridiculously Great Sex In A Long-Lasting Relationship, explained that the reasons can range widely, from a partner unintentionally reminding a man of his mother to emotional withdrawal within the relationship.
He emphasized the importance of mutual understanding and communication, noting that even small moments of erotic connection can make a meaningful difference.
And perhaps most importantly?
Rigid “sex schedules” may do more harm than good. According to Dr. Snyder, embracing spontaneity, even later in life, can be one of the most powerful ways to keep intimacy alive.
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