Hundreds of books and thousands of articles may have been written about the complexities of parent-child relationships, but it’s safe to say that these problems aren’t going anywhere anytime soon…
While teachers and psychoanalysts can provide theoretical solutions, real-life practice often presents more complicated scenarios.
These issues become even more challenging when a family with children breaks up and both parents start new families. Unfortunately, mutual insults and accusations over both minor and significant issues are common. While we do often hear stories of amicable separations in movies and TV shows, reality tends to be much messier.
A recent post on the AITA (Am I The A*****e) Reddit community exemplifies these complexities. The post garnered significant attention, receiving 15K upvotes and over 4K comments, with most readers supporting the author.
“A few weeks ago, I learned from my stepbrother’s TikTok that my dad, stepmom, and two stepbrothers were in Paris,” 16-year-old Reddit user BellNo1177 wrote. “I was staying with my mom at the time. I’m 16 and would have loved to be there, but they didn’t even tell me they were going.”
She continued her post, saying that she’d send a text to her father asking if he was enjoying his time in Paris. The father read the message, but didn’t reply until later during the evening and, when he did “tried to play dumb and said it’s great and he wished I could be there.”
After her father and his family returned, BellNo1177 told them that she had been hurt he didn’t include her on his trip. “My dad took me aside and explained that their finances are very tight, the vacation was a gift from my stepmom’s parents, and they only bought it for my dad, their daughter, and their own grandchildren, not me,” she wrote.
“He reminded me not to act entitled. They were effectively guests, even though the grandparents weren’t there — they just paid for it. I wasn’t invited, so I shouldn’t act entitled,” the post continued.
However, the teen was not convinced, adding: “They could have refused to go without me, paid for me themselves, gone somewhere cheaper, stayed a little less long, or asked my mom to pitch in (and she would have). Me not being there was exclusionary. If this was only about money, they could have made it work. So I told my dad I was disappointed in him.”
The night before she wrote the post, BellNo1177’s stepmother’s parents came for dinner and, of course, the subject of the vacation came up.
“I thanked them for doing such a nice thing for the ‘family’ while my dad frowned at me. Everyone went quiet. My dad explained that I should understand this was an expensive gift, and I was acting like an entitled brat,” she wrote. “He told me to go to my room if I couldn’t behave. I said it didn’t seem like I belonged anyway and told them to enjoy ‘your’ family dinner and left.”
Following this, the grandmother came to the girl’s room and explained the situation to her, saying they wished they could have included her but couldn’t afford to.
“I told her my problem was with my dad, not her, but she shouldn’t pretend to care about me. I said, ‘I’m a stranger to you, and you don’t care about me, so have some balls, put your big girl pants on, and wear it on your sleeve,’ and asked her to leave my room. She left and told my dad I was very rude, so I’m grounded until further notice,” the Reddit post concluded.
Most commenters backed the Redditor, noting that her father made no effort to include her in the family vacation and allowed her to be blindsided by not informing her in advance. While some suggested that the girl should take everything more calmly, they agreed that she had legitimate reasons to be upset with her father.
However, a few commenters noted that the girl might have taken the situation too personally. They argued that the grandparents have the right to manage their money as they wish, and while the father acted poorly, there should be no complaints against the grandmother.
What do you think of this situation? Let us know your thoughts!
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