In today’s hyper-curated world of online personas and public relationships, a disturbing new dating trend is gaining momentum: throning. It sounds majestic – like something out of a fairytale romance, but behind the glittering crown lies something far more toxic.
If your date seems more interested in your follower count than your favorite childhood memory, there’s a chance you’re not just dating – you might be one half of throning – a toxic new trend driven by Gen-Z.
Unlike “Shrekking,” where someone dates down hoping for loyalty and kindness – throning flips the script, with people dating up purely to boost their image, not build a real connection.
So, what exactly is throning – and how can you avoid becoming someone’s stepping stone to social fame?
Game of throning
Coined on social media and now spreading like wildfire through dating apps and influencer circles, throning is a modern term with an age-old motive: using relationships to climb the social ladder. Instead of seeking genuine emotional connection, a throner dates someone to elevate their image, social status, or online influence.
“It’s when someone dates another person in order to boost their own social status or reputation,” explains one TikToker in a viral clip. “Basically, the date is a throne that is used to elevate the person who is doing the throning. The scenario focuses solely on social influence or status and not on building a real emotional connection.”
Elevates personal brand
Further elaborating, the online user said that the person being throned becomes a symbol – something to show off.
“If a person seems overly focused on your status or social circle and changes their behavior depending on whether you’re in public or private… this can indicate throning.”
Where terms like “gold digging” and “clout chasing” once dominated the conversation, throning is the 2025 remix – repackaged for the era of Instagram relationships, curated couple content, and personal branding.
Performative dating
The explosion of social media has changed the very fabric of romance. Love isn’t just about how it feels anymore – it’s about how it looks.
“People are curating relationships the same way they curate content,” says dating coach Amy Chan, author of “Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts,” in an interview with USA Today. “The rise of throning also reflects a growing focus on self-image and external validation. Social media has amplified this, training us to care more about how our relationships look than how they actually feel.”
That’s the catch: Throning isn’t just about dating someone rich or powerful. It’s about dating someone with social influence – the kind of person who makes your Instagram grid pop and your status climb. Your partner becomes a walking upgrade to your personal brand.
To simplify it, Chan Told USA Today that “The name comes from the idea of putting someone ‘on a throne’ to boost your own clout/social capital.”
Hypergamy
Online conversations around hypergamy – the idea of marrying “up” in status – have been surging, especially in controversial communities like the “red pill” or “manosphere,” where women are accused – usually by men – of pursuing relationships for status gains, echoing old-school gender stereotypes.
But throning adds a new twist to that debate: it’s not just women, and it’s not just about money. It’s about prestige – followers, fame, and the illusion of a perfect life online.
“People have always sought partners who could elevate their lifestyle or status,” Chan explains. “What’s different now is how much we care about how things look online. We live in the age of optics. Social media has turned love into a public performance, where your partner can enhance not just your life but your personal brand.”
Are you being throned? Are you the throner?
If your partner seems more invested in tagging you in photos than talking to you at dinner, it might be time to check their intentions.
Chan recommends starting with communication: “Ask questions, share how you feel, and pay attention to how they respond. Emotional safety can’t exist without honesty.”
And, if you find yourself chasing clout through your relationships – constantly seeking partners who “upgrade” your image – Chan says it’s time to reflect.
“Ask yourself what you truly value and whether your behavior reflects the kind of person and partner you want to be,” she advises. “If it doesn’t, change course.”
In a world obsessed with image, it’s tempting to pick a partner who makes you look good. But love that lasts isn’t built on applause – it’s built on trust, emotional intimacy, and being real, even when no one’s watching.
So the next time someone calls you their “king” or “queen,” look a little deeper. Are you being loved – or just leveraged?
Before you share this story with your friends, let us know what you think of throning!
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