Forced to put her foot down with her fiancé’s meddling mother, a bride-to-be was tasked with establishing some boundaries with the future in-law who demanded she needed bonding time with her son.
Looking to Redditors for some advice, the woman explained her future mother-in-law incessantly encroaches on her son’s personal space, making him feel uncomfortable. Totally unaware of her inappropriate behavior, the mom took it even further and made a request that left people shocked…
In early December, a woman shared a story on Reddit, asking people for advice on how to deal with her demanding future mother-in-law (MIL).
The original poster (OP) shares that the mother is physically intrusive with her fiancé, “constantly hugging and kissing him,” making him feel uncomfortable.
Adding to the level of awkwardness, she also mimics tender moments between the original poster and her son.
“She does this thing where she copies what I do to my fiancé, for instance, if I kiss his cheek, she’ll find a way to do the same. I thought I was going crazy when I first noticed she does this, so I tested it out by running my fingers through his hair and she did the same thing.”
Troubled by her behavior, the poster shares that her husband-to-be is in therapy, learning how to handle his mother’s inappropriate behavior. She explains he’s admitted, “they have an emotionally incestuous relationship which is toxic for them both so he’s trying to set boundaries with her so they can have a healthy relationship.”
But the mother doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. “It’s not really working since she doesn’t understand why she can’t force him to hug and kiss her,” the poster writes.
Breaking boundaries
While the soon-to-be newlyweds are trying to build some boundaries, the MIL keeps storming through. The OP writes of a recent incident at a family member’s housewarming party where she was approached by her future mother-in-law, who expressed her distress over feeling like “her and my fiancé’s relationship isn’t the same anymore…”
The woman continues, “…so she’d like to come on our honeymoon because he’ll be off work and they can talk things through and bond.”
Quickly shooting down the mom’s request to join their romantic getaway, the poster said, “No that’s not happening, and this grown woman was genuinely shocked I said no. She kept asking why, what are you guys going to be doing that her and future FIL (father-in-law) can’t be with us.”
Being diplomatic, the author explained to the puzzled mother that “they were both looking forward to being together. She said ‘why can’t we all just be together?’”
She would not back down.
The OP then tried a different approach and told the clueless woman that the pair planned to be intimate “all day every day, in every inch of that villa so we won’t really have time for all the things she wants to do with my fiancé.”
She adds, “I thought this would make her uncomfortable and she’d realise how crazy her request is. I was wrong she said sex isn’t that exciting for us to spend all our honeymoon doing it, ‘there’s only so many positions’ she said. She said some other things which still make me cringe a week later.”
Negotiations
The bride-to-be refused to give in, so the future mother-in-law started negotiating. She then offered to be there for one of the two weeks and permitted the couple to “be as loud” as they want, adding that her and her husband “won’t mind.”
The OP counter-offered with a family holiday next year, stressing that the honeymoon was a special time reserved for her and her future husband.
Refusing to accept that decision, the FIL (father-in-law) got involved and demanded “they come even for 5 days so they can bond with my fiancé, they used to be so close.” When their request was again denied, her fiancés dad texted her at 1 a.m. – on the same day she penned the post – calling her “an a—— who doesn’t care I’m ruining a mother and son’s relationship.”
Shortly after, the poster’s future sister-in-law called saying her mother’s been crying for days and suggested “to just give in because her mother will make my life a living hell.”
The desperate poster asks the Reddit community, “Should I?”
Not surprisingly, netizens urge the poster to not give in to the irrational requests from her future in-laws.
One writes, “Recipe for disaster. Your fiancé should be the one dealing with his crazy parents, not you…Your fiancé needs to step up to put up clear boundaries and enforce them. I would not get married until the parents are corralled.”
Agreeing that it’s the fiancé’s responsibility to deal with his parents, a second user writes, “Husband needs to put his foot down with his parents. You need to stop responding to them at all. Put them and everyone that talks to them on an information diet so they do not know any of your plans.” The same cyber fan adds, “…change honeymoon destinations. In laws will absolutely show up and say well since we are here you might as well spend time with us.”
A third cybernaut writes, “[All] I can say is Oh Hell No. Change your location and don’t tell them.”
Considering the consequences of the future bride having to speak on the situation, another Redditor shares, “That would be the perfect thing to do, also the fiancé needs to step up in the future. If he doesn’t say anything then ultimately OP will always be the villain in her in laws house.”
READ MORE
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- Mother-in-law isn’t allowed to be in room during grandchild’s birth – what she does next angers everyone
What do you think of in-laws joining newlyweds on a honeymoon? Please let us know in the comments section and then share the story so we can hear what others have to say!
