When there’s infidelity in a marriage, it’s almost always impossible to have an amicable divorce, sparing family members from residual pain.
One woman, who wasn’t spared any pain by her cheating husband, explains to Redditors that in her divorce, she also suffered the loss of her daughter, who was “poisoned” by family.
Years later, since her father burned through her college fund, the now adult daughter is begging for money from the mother she denied contact for almost 10 years.
But before giving her estranged daughter any cash, she has one condition…
In early 2022, a 45-year-old woman shared her story on the ‘Am I the A******’ subreddit, detailing the outcome of her marriage to a “wealthy man,” who fathered her daughter Kelly.
Initially, her husband was generous, presenting lavish gifts to her parents, paying off her sister’s credit card debt and even helping her brother land a lucrative job with a reputable company.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) explains that his generosity also extended to other women.
When the OP was in a “very vulnerable state,” caring for Kelly, who was on only a few weeks old, she learned of her husband’s first affair.
Following the advice of family members, she stayed with her husband.
Years later, when Kelly was 12, the author caught her husband cheating a second time.
She writes, “the first time I caught him cheating I wanted out…but my family convinced me to forgive him and that I owed it to Kelly to fight for her to have the stability of a two-parent household.” The woman adds that her husband claims he looked for intimacy elsewhere because she wasn’t “performing” her “wifely duties” since she was pregnant.
Refusing to be persuaded again by her former in-laws, “traditional conservatives” trying to avoid a “public scandal,” she writes, “This time I wasn’t going to be deterred and continued with the divorce.”
Adding that she “felt so stupid” when he did it again, she pens “it was hurtful to me that my own family was trying to pressure me to stay in the marriage in order to not lose access to the money and perks my ex had provided.”
Armed with powerful lawyers and the support of her family – both that only a lot of money can buy – the man took the woman to court, winning full custody of Kelly.
Forced to let go of her only daughter, the OP writes that she walked away with “a nice settlement and some alimony.”
And her brother, who rallied behind her ex, learned a valuable lesson. She writes, “Not too long after the divorce my brother lost his job. I’m not sure what happened and I never cared to ask.”
All that mattered, she writes, was her relationship with Kelly, which was destroyed by her in-laws and her family members, who were still looking for handouts from her wealthy ex.
Telling the young girl that her mom was a “hypocrite” for preaching forgiveness but not practicing it with her dad, the OP writes, “My in-laws and my own parents poisoned [Kelly] against me…I was distraught.”
And over the years, her daughter became more disconnected.
“I tried my hardest to still be in Kelly’s life but by the time she was a teen she was fully convinced that I was the bad guy and told the courts she didn’t want to see me anymore. I was heartbroken but kept reaching out.”
Thankfully, the author writes that she had the support of her best friend Tina, her “rock,” and her Goddaughter, Laura.
In the years she was dealing with the loss of Kelly, the poster shares that she returned to school, landed a great job, and poised herself for financial independence.
Kelly reconnects
Things weren’t going so well for her ex, who after being sued by a former employee, was fired from his job.
Driven by his ego and embarrassed by his financial decline, the man drained Kelly’s college fund to maintain the luxurious lifestyle he was accustomed.
That was when Kelly remembered she had a mother.
Reaching out to the author to pay tuition for grad school, the OP writes that she was hurt her daughter’s sole motivation appeared to be money.
Still, she agreed to cover her expenses, with one condition: “…that she sign an agreement that she won’t contest my will where I’m leaving most of what I owned to Tina’s daughter.” That daughter is Laura, the young woman she treasures. And despite her relatives saying it will damage the likelihood of rebuilding a relationship with Kelly she adds, “I don’t want to have the type of relationship with Kelly that I feel like I have to pay for.”
Begging advice from Redditors, the author asks, “AITA For Leaving Everything I Own To My Goddaughter Instead of My Daughter?”
Offering their support, the online population agreed said that she is Not the a******.
“Your daughter has always been against you because of your family, and now the moment when things aren’t looking good, she wants contact. Ignore her,” writes one Redditor.
Another netizen says “I definitely wouldn’t give the daughter anything unless she actually proves she does actually want a real relationship. Because so far she’s not doing herself any favors by only showing up in OP’s life for college handout!”
A third warns that the author is setting herself up for heartbreak: “Kinda sad that OP is tempted to knowingly buy a relationship with her daughter…she’s just setting herself up to be heartbroken when she eventually disappear again once her university is paid off!”
A fourth suggests that maybe Kelly reaching out to her mom extends beyond the money. “Is her missing college funds the only reason why she reached out to you, or is it her being an adult and finally realizing fully what’s going on?”
Responding to that comment, the poster answers, “looking at the timing of her wanting to actually speak to me again and seeing how the majority of our (limited) talks is about her schooling and her financial concerns, I am inclined to believe so.”
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