There are so many different ways to enjoy beer. Some people like to drink specialty craft beers with complex flavors, savoring the taste. Others opt for quantity over quality, and go to town on a 64-pack of cheap beer cans.
People have different tastes. But what unites these people is that they’re all drinking beer with their mouths, actually tasting the beer and consuming it like normal human beings.
This story is not about those people.
No, friends. Today, we’re talking about nose chugging.
In September 2018, a video of a student at East Carolina University was posted online, showing one bright honors student devour a Bud Light through his nostril.
It is, like so many things, both beautiful and terrifying: an impressive physical feat that simultaneously makes you go “why, bro? Why?”
Never change, ECU. #NoseChug
(h/t @bdinicola) pic.twitter.com/KIHVhwXwK6— SportsChannel8 (@SportsChannel8) September 30, 2018
We’ve allowed all sorts of drinking shenanigans over the years, but we as a society need to draw the line somewhere. Beer bongs? Okay. Shotgunning? Sure, from time to time.
But #NoseChug? #No. We must not allow for this blatant perversion of beer. Drink it any way other than this, but at least drink it.
Oh, sure, there will be some lost souls who praise him as a hero:
https://twitter.com/GCrouseECU/status/1046552290080030721
But we’re with this girl, whose perfect reaction shot says it all: this is straight-up horrifying.
Yes, this is the appropriate reaction. pic.twitter.com/ZXE4FKLiQ5
— SportsChannel8 (@SportsChannel8) September 30, 2018
At least the children know better, which gives us hope for the future.
But if you really want to learn this terrible skill, lucky for you there is a step-by-step guide on Instructables… although being the responsible adults they are warn of “possible yeast infection of sinuses” and a “risk of drowning,” which is just the kind of chance you have to take to be the star of your frat house.
Nose chugging: yay or nay? Share this story and give us your thoughts.
