One woman committed to having sex with her husband every day for an entire year, only to realize the biggest transformation happened somewhere she never expected.
For years, Brittany Gibbons struggled with insecurities that left her feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, especially when it came to intimacy with her husband, Andy.
Writing for Women’s Health, Gibbons recalled reaching a point where she barely recognized the woman staring back at her in the mirror.
“I remember getting out of the shower, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and wondering, ‘Who let my mum in here?’” she wrote.
“From that point on, I didn’t let myself be naked. I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and I waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barreling from the shower to my closet to get dressed.”
‘Started off rough’
Her perspective changed after a friend mentioned that daily intimacy had simply become part of her own marriage, planting an idea Gibbons couldn’t stop thinking about.
“And they were one of the most loving, hilarious and strong couples I’d known,” Gibbons wrote of her friends, adding the idea inspired her own “obnoxious” but “intriguing” experiment.
“Having sex every day for a year seemed obnoxious, but also an intriguing way to force myself into facing my body each day,” Gibbons explained. “Andy, as expected, was on board.”
Living with that commitment every day turned out to be much different than imagining it.
“It started off rough,” the mother of three shared. “It wasn’t that sex was a chore that I dreaded, but allotting time out of my day to do it felt impossible and selfish and draining. I just wanted to lay in bed and watch TV and eat cereal and not have anyone touch me.”
Despite the daily distractions, Gibbons said, “for a whole year, save for being parted by travel or the stomach flu, we had sex with each other.”
‘Loved up feelings’ in and out of bed
And, as the months passed, something unexpected happened: the nightly routine stopped feeling like another item on her to-do list and gradually became something she missed when it didn’t happen.
“I started looking forward to it. Sex begat more sex, and those connected, loved up feelings started to creep outside of the bedroom – or in our case, the laundry room, the closet and our garage – and into our everyday lives. We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
Surprising impact
A few months in, Gibbons noticed a massive transformation in her perspective.
Instead of fixating on every perceived flaw, she found herself paying less attention to the insecurities that had once consumed her whenever she was with her husband.
“I was no longer hyper-aware of the sounds my curvy body was making,” she explained.
“Like the way my thighs clapped together or my tummy smacked his.”
As her confidence grew, she became increasingly comfortable being naked around Andy and no longer felt the same anxiety about being seen or touched.
“For the first time, I was more concerned with every part of sex that felt good than finding a flattering angle to hide my stomach or back fat. My body was being enjoyed by the both of us, equally,” she wrote, adding that her relationship her husband, and body, “had changed in amazing ways.”
‘The effort to show love’
Although the year-long experiment ended years ago, Gibbons says its biggest lessons have stayed with them.
While they no longer keep up the daily routine, Gibbons says the habits they developed during that year have stayed with them, and they continue carving out intentional time for each other.
“We work to connect in other ways. Intimacy doesn’t always mean penetration. The point is, the effort to show love to each other is there,” she shared. “I am not the best version of myself when I am insecure and panicky.”
‘About me wanting myself’
While she doesn’t believe frequent sex is a cure-all for relationship problems, she says it gave her something she had been missing for years.
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
She added, “It was never about anyone wanting me, it was about me wanting myself. And it only took an entire year of getting laid to figure that out.”
Everyone’s confidence journey looks different. What has helped you feel more comfortable in your own skin? Share your tips in the comment section and pass this story along to keep the discussion going!
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