Unfortunately, babies don’t come with an instruction manual and even if they did, the directions would be far more confusing than building a piece of IKEA furniture.
Fortunately, there are experts and experienced parents out there who are willing to share their brilliant tips with others on raising a human child!
While some of the ideas below may raise a few eyebrows, others may be quite helpful!
After Ursula Herrera’s baby boy was born with a rare birth defect that prevented him from swallowing, his mom Ursula Herrera was inspired to support other parents.
Matias, who had surgery the day after his birth, is now a healthy seven-year-old boy, living in Miami, Florida with his parents and baby sister.
Herrera – not a nutritionist – credits Matias’ recovery on healthy diet hacks and a lot of love, which she shares with her followers on her website Creative Healthy Family.
“Stay strong and positive,” she writes on the site inspired by Matias. “It is not easy…but so far, he is growing healthy without problems.”
Recently, she shared a post on her “favorite parenting rule,” which teaches moms and dads “how to really love a child.”
Below, we’ll share some of those tips with you!
Truly be present
The best way to be “present for a child” is by letting them know they matter. When you’re with them, always make them your only source of attention.
“I’m not saying that you have to devote every waking moment with them.” Hererra writes, adding when you’re playing with them “or even just having a discussion with them…actually focus on them.”
Yes more than no
Herrera suggests that parents are too concerned with raising unspoiled children that they often forget “it’s okay to say ‘yes.’”
She clarifies, “I’m not saying you have to buy your kids a toy every time they ask for one…But if they ask for something that costs you nothing but time to give, it’s okay to say ‘sure, we can do that!’”
Let them make noise
Herrera disagrees with the idea that children should be seen and not heard. While noisy children are not for everyone, she says “kids are noisy in a big, beautiful and bright way. They’re so full of life and let them be loud.”
Her next suggestion is best served with a side of ibuprofen: “Let them bang on pots and pans as they march around the house singing off-key while the dog barks madly behind them.”
Crabby kids need fun
When you have grumpy kids on your hands, lift their spirits by changing the scenery. “If your child is in a foul little mood, don’t try to reason them, or worse, punish them,” she writes.
Read books out loud
Reading books with your child has so many benefits, from developing language skills and teaching them to love words. The mom writes that it’s also about building a bond: “To them, listening to you read is all about spending time with you doing something that they love.”
Encourage silliness
When you’re playing with your kids, stop adulting and embrace your inner weird. “Laugh with your kids. Laugh until you cry, until your side splits, until you can’t breathe. Make it a priority to be as silly as possible as often as possible,” she advises.
Treat them like kids
Remember they are children and “not miniature adults, so don’t treat them like one,” Herrera writes, explaining that kids don’t understand the adult world. “Manage your expectations, set rational boundaries, and forgive them often for breaking them…don’t set them up to fail by demanding more than they can give.”
Tools to carve out the positivity
As we grow up, we all learn the world is not a giant amusement park for us to play, rather for us to maintain and fix, with heavy costs. Herrera suggests “your job is to give them the tools to find the bright side where they can and the strength to wait for the bright morning when they can’t.”
Be patient
Kids know what buttons to push and when to push them to get the greatest reaction. Even when they’re burning your last nerve, Herrera says to “keep the gleam in your eyes.”
“It’s telling them that yes, you really do love them unconditionally and that nothing they do can [will] ever drive you away.”
Validate their feelings
Create a safe space where your kids can explore their feelings. “Teach them early on that it’s just as okay to cry as it is to laugh,” she writes. Reminding parents to “teach them that others have feelings,” she adds, “kindness and compassion and empathy matter.”
Childhood is magical
Childhood is where everything happens! Dreams are made and the courage to realize those dreams is developed. “It’s a time when we believe that anything is possible because it still is. A time when we’re not thinking about the future and instead just living in the moment.”
Build a rocket ship
This rule is more an example of teaching your kids they can do anything they want. Children have huge ideas and encourage them to keep dreaming.
Stop yelling
No one likes loud noises and for a child, yelling is frightening. Herrera shares, “Learn a better way to communicate. No further explanation needed.”
Express your love
Don’t use your love as a bargaining chip and remind your children, every moment that they are loved unconditionally. “Show them that you love them with all of your heart and soul…Even when you’re mad at them.” Herrera continues, “Tell them every morning when they wake up and every night before they go to sleep. Make sure they know it with every last fiber of their tiny little beings.”
Everyone has different styles of parenting and perhaps a handful, or more, of Herrera’s post will help you in your journey as a mom or dad!
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