Living next door to someone doesn’t automatically qualify them for best friend status. Unfortunately some people are completely unaware of this and have unreasonable expectations of those who share a similar address.
This story is about a postpartum woman and her husband who volunteered her to be the maid to the wife next door, whose complicated birth left her bedridden.
Unable to help, the mom, who’s caring for her own newborn plus a four-year-old, was too exhausted to stretch herself beyond her own responsibilities. Calling his wife “heartless,” the husband refuses to understand his wife’s position and blames her for causing tension with the neighbors, whom she barely knows.
In mid-January, a mother desperate for advice, shared her story on the ‘Am I the A******’ subreddit, detailing an upsetting situation involving her neighbors.
The woman (referred to as original poster or OP) explains that her four-year-old son became a big brother to a new baby, who was born one week before writing the post.
The family lives next door to Tim, who became her husband’s friend after they started working together, which was about four months before his wife Jona had their second son.
“Their friendship just grew super quickly because we coincidentally moved right beside them a month after they met,” the original poster explains, adding she’s only met Jona twice, “at most 15 minutes each time. My husband has only met her maybe three times.”
Another coincidence between the two couples is that Jona was expecting her second son – the first is five years old, around the same time as the OP.
At the time of posting, Jona’s newborn was three days old.
“My labor went a lot smoother than hers did. She ended up needing an emergency hysterectomy, as she was bleeding out on the [labor and delivery] bed. They came home last night,” the OP writes. She adds that once the neighbors returned home, “Tim called my husband down to smoke a joint and when he got back upstairs, he told me that Tim had asked him for a favor.”
The big favor
It turns out that Tim wasn’t asking anything from his friend.
“Apparently he was wondering if I would go over to his house periodically throughout the day while he was at work to check on his wife and do tasks for her.”
These chores, she writes, includes cooking, cleaning and keeping the neighbor company. “She was bedridden and feeling really down and depressed from the unexpected hysterectomy and the reality of not being able to have more children.”
Already overwhelmed by caring for her own two children, and struggling with daily household tasks, the author said she’s physically incapable of fulfilling such a massive favor.
“Listen…I feel for the woman. I really do. But this is not my problem. I just had a baby myself a week ago and even cooking for US is a chore in itself because of how exhausted I am.”
Online users were shocked over the men’s weed-driven request.
One netizen writes, “If he can afford to buy weed, I guess he can afford to hire someone to clean the house and cook some meals.” A second user shares, “If he’s got time to smoke weed, then he has time to help his wife.”
Another writes, “They also have time to smoke a joint and relax while figuring out the new responsibilities for OP. Disgusting.”
Guilt trip
Though he claimed to “understand” the OP’s husband attempted to manipulate his wife into changing her decision. Reminding her that she is not bedridden, he told her “It’d be nice if you did this for them because I’m sure she could really use the company.”
“I know I’m being selfish but I do not care if she could use the company and I feel really backed in to a corner and manipulated with word play,” she said. “I’m getting really pissed off that I’m even asked of this. I asked my husband why him or his buddy would immediately think I would be available to do this, considering I just had my own baby and I’m also taking care of our [four-year-old].”
Content with her choice, the OP refused to back down and explained to her husband that she didn’t appreciate the guilt trip.
Offering a solution, the woman adds, “If [Jona’s] incapable of doing anything, Tim needed to step it up and either A) take time off from work or B) start meal prepping and call someone else to come into his home to do everything else.”
‘Acting heartless’
Providing Redditors with further insight, the OP shares that both her husband and Tim were given four days off when the women went into labor, which would have been a great time to form a plan.
The author writes, “But instead, he just tried pawning it off on me thinking I would say yes. My husband said that he doesn’t blame me for saying no but my attitude on it has caused tension between him and Tim because I’m ‘acting heartless.’”
After asking, “AITA for telling my husband that his buddies wife needing help is not my problem?” Redditors jumped in with full support for the OP.
The first writes, “Is your husband an a******, or just a moron? How DARE he volunteer you as someone else’s maid, when you just had a baby and already have a toddler to take care of?? Oh my God. I honestly don’t know how women put up with men like this.”
A second cybernaut shares, “I hate when people feel the need to be charitable with the resources of other people. They both get to feel great about helping her out, while you, still bleeding and postpartum, get to take on another households chores.”
And a third writes, “Why are either of these men expecting their wives who just gave birth this week to be cooking and cleaning? Not okay.”
Meanwhile, another netizen expresses frustration in how the men treat the women like objects. “I’m particularly annoyed by Tim asking her husband to loan OP to his wife. Like he owns her. No different from borrowing the lawnmower!”
What is the worst thing a neighbor asked of you? Please share your thoughts on this story in the comments below and then share the story so we can get the conversation started!
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